Filed Under: Did that really just happen?

It all started Sunday afternoon. I went to the library and to run some errands and to have a little time to myself. I ran my errands and was driving down the road minding my own business when out of the blue my car just up and died about a mile from home. Oh yeah...I was in the middle of the freaking road. Thank goodness it wasn't a busy road. I called Nathaniel who just happened to be home this week and he gave me the number for a tow truck. I called and they said it would be about 30 minutes before anyone could get there. I waited about that long, explained my situation to several Good Samaritans who stopped, and prayed that no one would fly around the curve and rear-end me. The tow truck finally arrived just as this carload of very unsavory looking gentlemen stopped. I'm still creeped out about that part. I finally got home but the tow truck couldn't make the turn into our driveway to unhook and unload the car. No problem, we live on the down slope of a hill we thought we could just let gravity roll it into the drive while Nathaniel steered. Ha! That would have been too easy. There was no power steering so Nathaniel couldn't get it turned in time, leaving it at an awkward angle half in and half out of the road past the driveway. Awesome! Luckily there was enough room to at least roll it a little further out of the way of traffic. At this point Nathaniel checked under the hood and decided that something was wrong with the timing chain. We studied the repair manual and decided we'd try to fix it ourselves the next morning because it was beginning to get dark.

We woke up the next morning and began the very involved task of removing half the engine just to get to the timing chain. Nathaniel walked to the auto parts store and got everything we thought we would need. Of course, later we needed a socket in a size we did not have to get the last bolt off, so then I got to walk to the auto parts store. It's downhill one way and uphill coming back...not so much fun when it's hot and humid out. My total came to $6.66. I should have turned around then. The guy behind the counter asked if I wanted to buy anything else to change the total. I laughed and said, "No thanks. Hopefully it's not an omen." Me and my big stinking mouth! I got the socket back home but it was too big for the drivers we have so I asked a really nice neighbor for a lift back to the store. He had originally offered me the keys to his car but his wife came outside and blessed me and him out for not consulting her first. Something about "you go and fucking wreck it and I'll sue the hell out of you!" She's never liked me, always has a sour expression, and from here on out will be referred to as Cuntzilla. At any rate, her husband did give me a ride and I apologized and thanked him profusely. They're an older couple and he is the sweetest old man I've ever met, the rest of his family...pure trash. So anyway, I got an adapter and thought we were finally making progress. No such luck. The bolt was in the engine so tight no amount of force could make it budge. To make matters even more interesting someone (me) had to be under the car, which by the way is still on the side of the road at this point, and shove a screw driver between some gears to keep them from moving. My grip slipped and I banged my hand against the under side of the car. Now I have a purple fingernail on my right middle finger.

After hours of little to no progress a monsoon came along with some spectacular and all-too-close lightning. As we huddled on the porch to wait out the storm we began to realize that our efforts were futile. Nathaniel was due back in his truck, which was more than 2^1/2 hours away, early the next morning for another month-long journey across the USA and I couldn't be left that long with no mode of transportation. We decided to call it quits and declared the car dead. Nathaniel called in to work to tell them he couldn't make it and to make sure everything was ok on that end, then he called a cab, which was actually some really strange guy (think Deliverance extra) in his car. He took us to the car dealership where we test drove an '06 Saturn Ion and an '06 Pontiac G6. These were our only options so we went with the Pontiac. Unfortunately we decided a little too late in the evening to get everything in to the bank that day so the salesman drove us home. He also picked us up the next morning to get everything finalized. We signed on the dotted line and drove it home and all is now well if not a little sad. It is the end of an era for us, after all. I get to look for a job now and a daycare for Geof, but I think it will all work out in the end. We've been trying to think of some sort of memento from the old car that we could put on or in the new one. I was thinking I might make some headrest covers out of the fabric we used to reupholster the old one. I already love my new car, I forgot how nice air conditioning and cruise control are!

Nathaniel has been teasing me all weekend about tearing up 2 cars in 5 years, he even has Geof picking up the slack while he's gone. The last car was totaled when an old lady fell into a diabetic coma, ran a red light, and t-boned our car. It was me and Geof that time and he was only 2 months old. At least with this one we did exactly what we wanted to do: we ran the thing until it wouldn't run anymore. We only paid $200 for it, shortly before I wrecked the other car actually, so I'd say we definitely got our money's worth.