Not-so-puuuuurfect Kitty

I am not a cat person..at all. Sure I think they're cute and I don't condone abuse but I'm on the verge of losing it with the cat we have now. I thought they were supposed to mellow with age! The past month or so she's really gone around the bend particularly at night. I can't get enough sleep because she insists that she sleep between my legs and on the rare occasion that I have the house to myself overnight she will, without fail, wake me by pouncing on my gut from some high place...I'm not kidding. Otherwise, every morning between 6:30 and 7 she runs around the house trying to get in as much trouble as possible by knocking things over or just creating as much noise as possible. She has a scratching post which she'll only use if it's turned over on it's side otherwise she uses the arm chair. She loves my elastic hair bands and I find them all over the house tattered and torn. I also have to hide Geof's bendy straws. They used to reside happily on the counter in a container until she discovered how much fun they are to bat around. Then they moved to the pantry...she found them again. Now they're in an upper cabinet. So far so good. Also, most of the ceiling lights turn on with a pull chain....that's another early morning toy she loves to play with and has already learned how to turn them off and on...but mostly on. It's not so much fun to wake up with a light blaring in your eyes, trust me. Thank god she hasn't discovered the joys of yarn! I think that would be my breaking point. I don't understand what her problem is. She gets fed and watered regularly and her litter box is never soiled for long. She also gets plenty of attention and ear scratching. When we do catch her being naughty we squirt her with water so she knows she's doing something wrong. It wasn't always like this. Could she be senile or is this the last bit of kitten energy coming out? We've had her since October 2006 when she was probably a few months old..not yet a year. Any cat whisperers out there? I could use some pointers here before I find her a new home for the sake of my sanity.