Friday, April 28, 2006

Dear Senior Citizen

Around here the mail is usually hoe-hum. It's either bills, or crap, or both. Sometimes there's some sort of freebie thing I've signed up for or a quarterly yarn catalog to drool over...that's on a good day. In today's mail I found a letter addressed to me. It looked pretty important, I mean I could see through the little cellophane window that the paper inside was pink. Pink is important, right? I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. I haven't had a "real" job in over 3 years so it couldn't be Uncle Same, I haven't been hospitalized or even seen a doctor in 2 1/2 years, and since we finally have health insurance and Geof's Medicaid expired in January, I was stumped. Half excited, I opened it......"Dear, Senior Citizen..." Geez, I know some days I feel old, but I'm not ready for the retirement home just yet...or even retirement! I didn't read any further..oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Wow, a whole paragraph devoted to my junk mail...how special.

I won't be around next week. Geof and I will once again be visiting my folks. I hadn't planned on it, I'd rather be here, but I think we need to go. I don't like to disclose too much of my personal life here, basically because it involves telling parts of other people's life stories, good and bad, plus writing about it forces me to own it, and sometimes I'd rather not. Tonight, I'm in a sharing mood...lucky you. My Dad is an alcoholic. I hate using that word because of all the stereotypical things that spring to mind when someone is labeled as such. My father is none of those. He's a happy drunk, really. He's not abusive in any way, well, maybe self-abusive. He's a wonderful person. He doesn't wake up and reach for the whiskey bottle or anything like that. He drinks at night, alone in his drawing room. Every single night since I can remember he'll sit at his desk and draw and drink. Usually beer, with a shot of whiskey every now and then. I've always known that he was a beer drinker, I remember being Geof's age and fetching them for him. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realized he had a problem, and that's only because my Mom told me. I'd find him passed out in the living room floor, or at his desk with a cigarette still burning. I always naively thought it was because he was sleepy and that he just fell asleep. I asked Mom about it and she told me the truth. I was stunned. Like I mentioned before, when I would hear that someone is an alcoholic, I had preconceived notions as to what kind of behavior they would exhibit, most people do. So anyway fast forward about 8 years, 2 leg amputations, rapidly declining health, and dozens of hospital stays and things have progressively gotten worse. He's depressed a lot, and rightfully so, and the more depressed he gets, the more he drinks. If I were in his situation, I'm sure I'd be doing the same thing. He's told me many times before that Geof is the only reason he wakes up in the morning. He's ready to die, but I'm not ready to let go. Mom's been emailing me that this past week has been pretty rough. He's been really depressed. I talked with him tonight and mentioned that we might come down, and his voice lit up. How could I not go? So anyway, that's where we'll be next week.

On a side note, I really like how open my parents are with me. They've always treated me like I was an adult. They've always been open, and treated me with respect. I'm thankful for that. But sometimes, the kid in me just doesn't want to hear about it all. I understand why they tell me these things and I don't fault them for it, sometimes I'd rather just be in the dark. Ignorance is bliss.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Mommy, You're Not A Rock Star Anymore

It has been brought to my attention that I do not blog enough so today I think I'll talk about Geof. Surprise, surprise, no? What did you expect? Here's a silly little conversation that took place today between Geof and myself...

Geof: "Mommy, do you want to go on a date?"
Me: "A date? Who would I go with?"
Geof: "Me!"
Me: "Sure! What do you want to do on our date?"
Geof: "Get married!"
Me: "Get married?! You sure do move fast, don't you?"
Geof: "Yup!"

...and here are some Geof-isms that have tickled my funny bone lately...
"armpips" = armpits
"echolotes" = antelopes
ring around the rosies "a pocka-tocka tobies"... = ...a pocket full of posies...

Geof as also recently informed me that I am no longer a Rock Star. Was I ever one? I know I have behaved like one...I just never got paid the big bucks for it! Kids...they make life worth living!


{clickable}
Mommy's Little Heathen

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The weight has lifted...

© Michael A. Keller/CORBIS

Aaaaaahhhhhhh...that was a sigh of relief. On Friday Nathaniel returned from a 3 week run out on the road. We had him all to ourselves until Sunday evening. From last week and until our vacatoin in the middle of May he will be working out of Charlotte. Apparently he's teaching a refresher course for the Schneider drivers coming through the Charlotte operation center. I think they're letting him hone his skills before throwing him the fresh meat. When I say fresh meat I mean the new recruits for Schneider, the one's who've most likely never set foot in a big truck. Since he started in his new position his attitude has changed so much for the better. He's happier, healthier, and more fun to be around quite honestly. I'm really loving the changes I've seen so far in him. It's obvious that a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders. From what I understand he'll be back in the truck this summer and then doing the same thing he is now come this Fall. After that he'll be training full time...I think. I'm still learning all the company lingo. At any rate, things are good and I have my husband back...and I mean that literally and figuratively!

Nathaniel took the car to Charlotte...that was the easiest way to do things, so Geof and I are home bound. I'm not complaining, really. Ever since Geof and I were in a car accident about 3 years ago, I'm way too paranoid when driving to enjoy it. About the accident, nutshell version...I was at a traffic light waiting to turn left...old lady coming from my left had stroke or blacked out ran red light as I was turning t-boned my car and totalled it...that's why I drive what I drive now...


© GM Photostore and General Motors

...this is not my actual car, but one like it. Mine is painted redwith the St Louis initials in white on both front side doors and trunk And then there is this on the hood...


Yeah, we roll deep like that! Ha! This is one of those times where I really wish I had a digital camera. It sounds like a total piece of shit, but it actually looks kinda nice considering. We're taking the damn thing up to St Louis in May because on the 18th we're going to a game!!!! After that, I'm really hoping to we'll park the car...for good! I doubt it though. Wow!! I really got side tracked didn't I? My point was to say that Nathaniel took the car to Charlotte this week but I can deal because he'll be home every weekend!! I'm so freaking excited about that I could piss myself...and it's not because of the celebratory beer I'm drinking!!

Thanks for sticking with me this far...I'll have a drink in your honor! Take care and I hope you have a great a week as I've had!
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