I'm tired of making up titles for posts

Oh it's such a beautifully rainy day out!! I LOVE it!! There's a nice cool breeze, steady rain, Nathaniel's coming home today, and all is right with the my world. My grandparents-in-law visited from Kentucky yesterday. It was a nice little visit, short and sweet. Geof was very well behaved except when we went out to dinner. He was too busy entertaining to eat, but we all had a good time. I was glad when they said they would take us out to eat. I had been freaking out trying to organize a menu to fix for dinner. He is a diabetic and she is a retired dietician/nutritionist and they're both über health conscious. I'm semi health conscious, but they are über health nuts. They brought us a loaf of fresh baked bread they had picked up at their local bakery. I wish there was something like that closer to home. I love fresh baked goodies.

A huge bus from the casino just went down the road. Maybe they're delivering my millions of dollars that I had put an order in for. Surely, they'll be back. I wish. It was pretty weird to see the bus because the casino is about an hour away.

I guess you all heard that Britney Spears popped out her baby boy Wednesday. What?! You didn't feel the Earth tremble with excitement? Yeah, me either.

Because People Like To Say Salsa!! OR You're Stupid

I couldn't decide on which title I liked best for this post, so I used them both...explanations to follow.

So I did the Susie Homemaker thing yesterday and made my own salsa AND canned it. Woohoo, go me, right? It only made 2 pints and 1 quart, but I'm pleased. All in all our tomato crop was better than last years so I'm not going to complain. The plants are kaput now and I've got only two words to say about it....THANK GOD!!! Don't get me wrong, I love home grown tomatoes just as much as any country gal, but they were getting to be a pain in the ass. Some sort of disease finally got the best of them.

I also did the Rosie Riveter thing yesterday too. Let me just start off by saying that keys and I do not get along very well. I've locked and or lost them in trunks, cars, lockers, cars with Geof still inside, and now my house. I was in the midst of a terrible nicotine fit and had had enough. I had everything together for a quick trip to the gas station for a pack of smokes. Yes, I have no will power. No sooner did the door shut when I realized that my keys are still sitting in their little dish!! SHIT!! My exclamations echoed through the neighborhood. Luckily I remembered my cell phone and called the landlord. His wife answered and I told her my situation. The living room window was open so I told her that if I couldn't get the screen off, to have her husband bring a key. I hung up and got to work. It took some cussing, wiggling, giggling, and fanageling but I got it. The house alarm was on so I had to crawl along the back of the couch so as not to set off the motion detectors and over to the control panel. Success!! I grabbed the key, called the landlord's wife to cancel my backup, and went merrily on to the gas station. Yes, I wanted my smokes that bad. I guess I should have taken the hassle as a sign, but I'm much too stubborn.

Now for today's happenings. Geof was in a really good mood yesterday and this morning. He's been a little shit for the past month so it was nice to have a little less stressful couple of days. He ate all of his breakfast and was pretending to be a monster. I then pretended to be the Mommy Monster and stole some kisses and tickles. He liked this a lot...I did too. He gave me a bunch of sticky hugs and kisses and was absolutely making my morning. It wouldn't last. As I walked away he said kind of hurriedly and under his breath, "You're stupid." Little shit!! We've been over this several times...how he should say "silly" instead of "stupid". I whirled around and asked him what he had said and he smiled so devilishly sweetly and says "You're silly." He's also started this thing where when I tell him I love him he says, "I don't love you." I then explain that that isn't very nice to say to someone. I know he doesn't really understand but things like that still sting. Guess it's all an exercise to toughen up my skin for when he becomes a teenager and says the same kinds of things, or worse.

Motherhood: An Exercise In Patience

...and my patience is wearing mighty thin. Call it being a 2 year old, hard-headed, just desserts or whatever else, but Geof is driving me batty. It seems these days my vocabulary is limited to "Stop that", "No", "What did I tell you?", "What did you say?", "Stop whining", "Do not talk to me like that", "Go to your room", "Do you want a spanking?" Oh yes, the joy never ends. He's developed this nasty habit lately of back talking. I do not tolerate this. The thing is, I am not a push-over parent, my threats are not empty and when I say "no" I mean it. What kills me is that he isn't as bad with Nathaniel....what am I not doing here? Our parenting practices are the same, I'm just a little more nurturing and free with hugs and kisses. Geof is praised and rewarded for good behaviour, but sometimes he forgets that. I realize this is a natural phase for Geof. He's exploring his boundaries and mine and we're still in the beginning stages of this journey. I'm just wondering how long the ""Terrible Twos" are going to last! God help us when he's a teenager!!!

Smoking or Non?

artwork by me!

About 11 hours ago I made a huge change in my life. I took the last drag of my very last cigarette ever. Things are going well, so far. My temper is within reason, I haven't rummaged through change jars for money to buy more smokes, and I haven't really craved a cigarette as much as I thought I would. Tomorrow is another day, however. I've wanted/needed to do this for a long time. Now I have an excuse with the price of gas and cigarettes both increasing significantly in the past week and a half. Wish me luck!!

Three Years And Counting

photo courtesy of Corbis

On August 31, Nathaniel and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. Unfortunately he was out on the road that day, but he was able to come home this weekend. He was only here for 2 days...he hasn't been with Schneider long enough to get to celebrate Memorial Day. That would have been a nice thing to know before getting our hopes up. Our neighbor watched Geof for a few hours on Saturday and we had some alone time. Wanna know what we did? I know you do. We burned some cardboard, listened to a few Prince songs because for some reason we both had Purple Rain stuck in our heads, then we sat around the house. I was as happy doing all that as I would have been had we gone on a date. I enjoy his company and conversation, it was really nice.

I Don't Like My Cat Very Much Anymore

I can't believe I forgot to blog this. Yesterday morning Geof woke me up saying, "Mommy, look what the kitty did, he made a mess!" I was expecting maybe litter or food scattered over the floor because that's the norm. Oh, no...it was much, much worse. The fucking cat decided to shit all over the recliner in the living room. Luckily it's vinyl, but the son of a bitch couldn't shit on a flat surface, oh no, he had to shit where the seat meets the back. That's right, it was all down in the chair and then he had the audacity to piss all over the dirty laundry I had sorted on the floor. I rubbed his face in it slapped his hindquarters and he got to spend the rest of the day and last night outside. Part of me hoped that he wouldn't be there in the morning but he was. He has never done this before and I clean his litter box daily. Maybe he's got something wrong with him, I have no idea. He's been his usual self otherwise, however. Just thought I'd share :)

The Lighter Side

My mom likes to forward me crap emails. Here's the latest one, I thought it was pretty funny.

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."