Friday, July 22, 2005

WooHoo!!!

We're getting the hell out of Dodge...where the heck did that expression come from anyway? My mom is coming to pick us up this evening after she gets off from work. We'll be visiting with them for the week. I'm really looking forward to it. I called up my friends who are still around there and set up a few playdates for Geof and a few for myself. I think we both need a little vacation.

Nathaniel just called and said that he was sent to Laredo Texas and got to feel the wrath of hurricane Emily. It was mostly rain, nothing too exciting. I think he's in Dallas now and he said it's hotter than hell there. He's headed for Cincinnati today. Cincinnati...I like that name.

I felt all Rosie Riviter-ish yesterday. The car has been acting up lately. Nothing that has left us stranded. I think something is up with the power steering. I checked the fluid levels and it was fine, though. I just hope it holds out a little longer....geez, we'd really be fucked if it gave out. I refilled the wiper fluid, checked the oil, the transmission fluid, and the coolant. All were right where they needed to be. Also the past several days we've been getting really heavy rains that only last about 30-45 minutes. The rain water has eaten away at the dirt on either side of the road creating a huge ditch directly in front of my driveway and and about an 18 in deep trench in front of the mailbox. I went out last night and filled in all the holes with dirt and gravel and used some bigger rocks to redirect the flow of water. We're on the down slope of a hill so by the time the run off gets to us it's moving pretty swiftly. I'm hoping that we'll get another downpour before we leave so I can see if my work was worth it. Geof got to help of course and was absolutely thrilled about it. He woke up this morning talking about how he fixed the car and driveway. Just like a man, letting the woman do the grunt work while he gets all the glory!! LOL!!!

image courtesy of this site

Monday, July 18, 2005

I've Got Too Much Time On My Hands!

When I was younger I used to wish I were an animal so that I didn't have to go to school. This occurred mostly when I had to give some sort of speech or had a big paper due. Now, I want more than anything to go back. Not to repeat any particular grade or school event. I just want to learn. I loved learning. I still do. I miss researching papers, discovering some amazing fact, the whole process. The way my brain buzzed and expanded with knowledge. I'll go back someday. When Geof is older and we can afford tuition. I don't wish for Geof to not exist, but mine and Nathaniel's carelessness really put a kink into a lot of our plans for our futures both separately and together. We both love our son and wouldn't trade him for anything. I want to have more children. I always dreamed of having a whole house full of them. However, after giving birth I'd be happy now with 2 or 3 tops! I imagined that they would be close enough in age that they would have common interests. I figured about a 3 year age difference would be good. Geof will be 3 on his next birthday and I don't see a sibling for him anytime soon. I'd like to go back to school when he starts kindergarten. But what about having more children? Things get all tricky there. If we have more kids I'd like to stay home with them as well to give them the same opportunities as Geof. Nathaniel has said half jokingly that for his 25th birthday he's treating himself to a vasectomy. We haven't talked about it much since. It all began when our marriage was filled with a lot of tears and emotional stress, anguish, and pain. The love has always been there. Otherwise we wouldn't have come as far as we have. I remember the car ride back to school on our way from telling my parents that we planned to marry. We talked about all the exciting and important stuff. Where to live, a rough idea of what the other wanted for the wedding ceremony, the number of kids, etc. He wanted a couple. Now I'm not so sure. Like I said before I'd like 1 or 2 more, but I'm not ready yet. I've mentioned this to him before. I told him that I would like to have another baby, however, I'm not ready right now and honestly I may not ever be and I was ok with that. Emotionally and financially, I don't think I/we would or could be ready for at least a couple years. By then Geof will be 5. Is it fair to him to have another child when all he's known is being an only child? I had a younger sister who was 19 months younger than me. She was born with severe cerebral palsy and my parents placed her in a home for kids like her when she was 2. I kind of felt like I lived in two worlds. I had a sister, but I didn't. I always wanted another sibling, but I loved my sister dearly. She died when she was 12 the day before Thanksgiving.... Eh, I'm just thinking/typing out loud here I guess.....oh, what tangled webs we weave.

Nathaniel left out on the road this morning. Headed down to Texas. It's funny, when he's gone I get so damn jealous of the people driving on the same interstates/roads as him. Because they get to see him and I don't. I fall in love with him more and more everyday though. I know this job sucks for him, but he does it for Geof and me. That is the greatest feeling. To know that someone will go through hell for you. Of course this is nothing for us. We've already been through hell and back and got the tshirt! Ain't love grand?!

I've been a bit stir crazy lately so I decided to read a book. My Dad had loaned me 3 different books a while back but I just never sat down to read. Thursday I decided to pick one up. I swear I didn't put it down until Saturday! It was The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Excellent book. Perhaps it's because I'm emotionally driven or just weird but books and songs, when they strike a chord with me resonate so deeply. I get emotionally attached to them. This was one of those books. I thought about it when I was doing other things. When I put it down my inner monologue became a narrative.....example, "she looked into his eyes as she put the milk back into refridgerator..." "his giggling shattered through the haze of her daydreaming and ..." "as she sat down to pee..." It got kind of funny and I would laugh out loud at myself. But honestly it was a nice escape away from reality for me...very refreshing. You're probably reading this thinking I'm a total lunatic and that's ok...sometimes I might just agree.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

A Few Quick Tales

I had my husband for a few hours last night!! He ran out of hours a few minutes from the house last night so he had to shut down his truck for the evening. Unfortunately, where he stopped did not allow trailers to be left there over night. Geof and I picked him up went to the grocery store, and brought him home, fixed dinner, played for a while then took him back to the truck where he had to sleep. How crappy is that? The man is less than 15 minutes from home, but he can't sleep in his own bed! URGH!! At least we got to see him. Geof was so excited when I told him we were going to get Daddy. It really breaks my heart that he misses him so much. Honestly, I thought he was too young to really know what's going on. But he's a smart bugger and I guess I shouldn't sell him so short.

Yesterday I announced to Geof that I was going to take a shower and he replied, "Thank you!" What a little stinker!

I was stopped at a red light the other day waiting to turn right. Usually I would go but at this particular intersection it's difficult to see what's coming from the left so I waited for the light to change. Some dipshit behind me lays on the horn. This is the embarrassing part...I got all ghetto/redneck and yell out the window, "I can't see what's coming and I'm not about to risk my child's life so you can get somewhere 2 minutes faster, asshole!! I never do that but damn if it didn't feel good!! I was so pissed off that I was shaking. Looking back I feel like the asshole. Oh well, we all have our days.

Our gladiolus are blooming and it is really pretty around here lately. The tomatoes are looking awesome and I'm foaming at the mouth to eat one, but they're all still green. When he was younger, Nathaniel worked on a tomato farm in southern Illinois. He's the tomato expert/grower. Since he's taken this truck driving job, I've become the master gardener around here. And if I do say so myself things look MAH-VELOUS!!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Insert Clever Title Here

Well, we've all survived the July 4th festivities...and the in-laws. Nathaniel's parents stayed at a hotel by the lake at a Methodist retreat/retirement community kinda weird place. Anyhoo, we went there to watch the fireworks and it was quite a display. Geof did a lot better than he has the past two years. He only clung to me and refused to watch the show....at least he didn't scream and cry. Nathaniel came in on Saturday so we weren't able to have a lot of "alone" time...wink wink. At least he was able to rest and cook and garden some.

Our cat has been named. Nathaniel and I could never come up with a good name, nothing seemed to pop out. One morning Nathaniel asked Geof what his cat's name was. Geof looked at him and said, "Illinois Cat". We've asked him on several occasions and the answer is always the same...Illinois Cat...and so it is.

If you're bored here are a few things to waste some time...

Birthday Calculator...see what the moon looked like the day you were born, learn how much water you could boil with the candles on your next birthday cake, and other cool stuffs!!

FlipBook! ...create your own online flipbook animated cartoon thingy. I had a lot of fun with this.

...last but not least a quiz that is actually pretty accurate in my case...

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream
A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.
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